~ Relationships - Blind Spots

8th January 2020

‘When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves ‘ Viktor Frankel”

Blind spots are dysfunctional ways of thinking and acting. We would rather not acknowledge them because if we do we might have to change that behaviour – it is comfortable to stay in the dark.

Blind spots include bias, annoying habits or traits about ourselves that we are unaware of, or if we are somewhat aware, we don’t know how to change our patterns. ‘ blind spots’ as the name suggests are ‘blind’ so how do we identify them if we cannot see them?

We can start by asking ourselves the following questions:

– how are we contributing to this situation?

– what part are we playing in the dysfunction?

Generally it is not recommended that we ask our partner or friends to outline what they see as our flaws. Mostly partners and friends will not tell us what we need to know – that’s why they are our partners and friends – they don’t focus on our shortcomings. Caveat! If problems exist in a relationship then we might certainly be made aware of what our partner considers our flaws to be.

We can of course reflect on times when we are not achieving the results we would like in relationships, either personal or professional are we the common denominator? It is often hard to acknowledge our flaws. Is it our traits, habits, bias that might be contributing to an unhappy or uneasy relationship? How do we address this? Are we able to recognise our patterns of behaviour and do they assist or detract from our goals?

If we want better relationships we need to address where we can improve. – take up the challenge and do it differently.

Alex Roberts