Are you happy with the year so far? Are you reaching the goals/commitments set earlier, that is, if you set any!

Do you actually know what happiness means for you? On a surface level we might say good health, close loving family, interesting job etc., and they are really good ideals. The key of course is how to achieve them. They don’t just happen – well rarely.

A lot of happiness or unhappiness stems from our actions. The first step is to recognise patterns of behaviour. The next step is to identify where our actions/responses stem from

Many of our actions we inherit from our immediate family as a child. Good, bad and unfortunately, sometimes ugly. As an example, many of us have caught ourselves sounding like our parents and are sometimes quite horrified. It actually goes much deeper than that. In our early years we are a sponge for our parents words and actions in that we absorb all around us. Basically it is “monkey see, monkey do! Some of this is useful some not. How do we rectify the not so good? It is possible to change the programs of the past.

What has this to do with happiness? Much unhappiness arises from miscommunication and miscommunication arises from rote actions, responses etc. Once we have identified where our behaviour stems from then we can work on how to change it. I am not saying, “our parents are to blame” – not at all. I am saying we need to take responsibility. We might also thank our parents for the many excellent characteristics we inherited. We are all works in progress.

Many of us struggle sometimes with loved ones be it family, partner or work relationships, financial and other issues. A good place to start to resolve the issues is as described earlier, as this will be a basis for change.

If we are not reaching the happiness state we wish to be in then we need to dig deeper into how we can start to change existing patterns. As the saying goes “If it’s to be, then it’s up to me”

Alex Roberts