~ Relationship Breakdown

8th January 2020

When a relationship breaks down generally all parties suffer. We have a tendency to believe it is only the person who didn’t instigate the breakup that is affected. If there are children involved then they are often the ones that have the most to deal with.

How communication is handled at what is usually a painful time is crucial to the well being of the offspring in the present and the baggage they will carry into the future.

Children don’t decide to call it a day. Their parents do and they are the collateral damage. How you deal with your ex and how you talk about the ex to and in front of your children will have a lasting effect. You may believe there is very little to commend the exiting parent. I would challenge you to remember a time when you believed very differently. Children need both parents. You are your children’s guardians not their friends. Friends come and go, parents are forever –dead or alive.

Even without children there are usually family and friends and financial considerations to consider. How you handle this will either help or hinder the outcome. It is a good idea to reflect on your actions before taking them. What do you want your relationship to be like with your children when they are adults? How do you want to shape their world? In the case of your ex you can only be the change you want to be. We can’t change anyone else. We can get satisfaction though in knowing that we did the very best we could in difficult circumstances.

Break ups are hard, though the difficulties don’t need to be insurmountable.

Alex Roberts